Episode 10 : Grace Within Toxicity: Navigating the Toxic Community

SPEAKER 1: Welcome back to Cultura Crossing podcast where we explore the faith, the culture and wisdom. I'm your host, Iris. And in today's episode, we are going to dive into the complexities of navigating toxic behavior within the Christian community and discuss some strategies for maintaining grace and transparency in the midst of conflict.

SPEAKER 1: Toxic behavior among Christians is a topic that often goes undressed. Yet its impact can be very profound from judgmental attitudes to manipulation from spiritual abuse, toxic behavior can erode relationships and hinder the spiritual growth.

SPEAKER 1: So today, we're going to explore the psychological roots of the toxic behavior among Christians, including the bitterness and the jealousy, strife, dispute and division. We'll discuss on how these behaviors are stemming from feelings of insecurity inadequacy and how they can harm both the individual and the community as a whole.

SPEAKER 1: When we draw from the psychological research and the biblical wisdom, it will explain practical strategies for navigating those toxic behaviors within the community from setting healthy boundaries to extending forgiveness, promoting unity while exploring how we can cultivate grace and resilience in the face of conflict. One of the first things that I want to go into is identifying that toxic behavior amongst us.

SPEAKER 1: In the psychological perception, toxic behavior among Christians such as judgmental attitudes, manipulation, gossip and spiritual abuse can be fueled by underlining issues that is already present like insecurity, pride or even this is a hot topic right now.

SPEAKER 1: Unresolved trauma, these behaviors not only harm others but also damage the individual's own well being leading to bitterness and resentment. The multitude of divorces that has happened within the past three years. The majority of them, a good percentage of them resulted from the partners not ever dealing with their unresolved trauma.

SPEAKER 1: When they realized there was a toxic relationship, there was a leak in their soul. The whole time the separation came from the reality of something here isn't right. When we look at scripture insight, we look at Matthew chapter seven verse 1 to 5. It warns us against hypocritical judgment. It highlights the importance of self reflection before correcting others.

SPEAKER 1: So let's take a look at that Matthew chapter 71 to 5 says, do not judge or you two will be judged for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of the saw dust in your brother's eye and pay no attention in the plank of your own eye.

SPEAKER 1: How can you say to your brother? Let me take the speck out of your eye. When all the time there is a plank in your own eye, you hypocrite first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the spec from your brother's eye. This is this, this scripture right here.

SPEAKER 1: I just, I'm going to open it up in the amplified amplified. Usually always likes to break down the scripture for you. It says in verse seven, verse five in the amplified, you hypocrite play actor Pretender first get the log out of your own eye and then you will clearly take the speck out of your brother's eye.

SPEAKER 1: The first verse statement, I'm going to make a practical illustration of it when it says, do not judge and criticize and condemn others unfairly with the attitude of self righteousness as though assuming the office of a judge so that you will not be judged unfairly.

SPEAKER 1: It says do not judge and criticize and condemn others unfairly with the attitude of self righteousness, superior as though assuming the office of a judge so that you will not be judged unfairly. The illustration for this, I say, for example, you know, maybe at some point, you made a vow for women.

SPEAKER 1: I will never or or man, I will never have a child at the age of 18, I will never do what such and such is doing all of a sudden months or years later, you find that you did the very thing that same person you judge did. That is what according to the measure of how you judge came back. A lot of times we don't realize that our own words, our own heart posture can cause very issues in our own life.

SPEAKER 1: And then we want to blame, you know, someone or we want to blame Satan and we want to blame demons. But the reality is is that your own mouth plagued your own judgment and we have to watch and listen of the things that are coming out of our heart. When we get ready to judge or criticize or condemn something it's saying in scripture, don't do it assuming that you're the judge.

SPEAKER 1: And I think that oftentimes when we go to deal with toxic behaviors of people, if we're affected by it, we want to judge criticize and condemn we were affected by the toxic. That is not the what the scripture is saying and how we should approach it. It's warning us against this.

SPEAKER 1: It's highlighting the point of your self reflection before you go off correcting others, before you go off sitting at the table, try to address the situation. Are you still infected? Your infection is still present? There's no way that there's going to be a solution in correction. In this moment.

SPEAKER 1: In this moment, you are naturally positioning yourself as a judge and you want to place judgment in a place that you feel is adequate. It's justifying because your self righteousness is present. We have to take a hold of the toxic behaviors in our life.

SPEAKER 1: We have to take hold of the toxic mentalities in our life puts us before man and says we are here to judge, to judge you according to a measure that is not what the Lord our God has written in the Bible. He didn't say this is the way I want you to do it. There was ways that God sent people to judge and it wasn't to judge all these things. We would judge them so that they would repent. God's judgment was for them to repent.

SPEAKER 1: This posture is a judgment of no repentance but condemnation. This is a dark posture. This is not a light posture, this is not the light of Christ. This is a, you know, the moment where Peter Jesus told Peter, you don't know what Spirit you're operating in.

SPEAKER 1: This is why it's important to have self reflection reflection before you start thinking you're in a good place to go. Correct someone. Additionally, Ephesians chapter four verse 31 and 32 it exalts believers to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice and to be kind, compassionate, forgiving one another as God forgave us.

SPEAKER 1: We have to get to this place where we identify when we are being malicious. When we identify that, when we're being revengeful, when we identify the place of shade, where we're throwing darkness into the light of someone else because of the pain we want to justify that we endured being among them.

SPEAKER 1: It's not validating, it's not going to validate the issue or the circumstances that you've been through. It's not going to change your heart and release you into freedom. We have to identify, reflect on the nature of our approach when we are approaching our community that is may be infected with toxic behavior. Let's look at some cases.

SPEAKER 1: The first case I want to talk about is the case of hidden envy within the community. The scenario plays out that there's a Mark and a John and both are active members of the church. John serves as a worship leader and is admired by everyone because of his talent, his charisma while Mark is involved in various outreach programs and is known for his compassion, his education and serving others of support for one another.

SPEAKER 1: Mark is secretly harboring feelings of envy towards John. John's perceived success and being recognized within the church. Mark's envy begins to manifest and it's often disguised as admiration or friendly competition.

SPEAKER 1: He finds himself comparing his own achievements and his contributions to those of John feeling a sense of inadequacy and resentment when he perceives John receiving more praise and attention. Mark may downplay John's accomplishments and undermine his efforts in the attempt to boast his own self esteem.

SPEAKER 1: Now, unconscious defense mechanism because this is what's happening in March. There's an unconscious defense mechanism I would love to sit here and talk about the conscious and the subconscious mind and, and the unconscious parts. But this would take a really long time to get through it. Maybe that will be a podcast at some point.

SPEAKER 1: But the unconscious de defense mechanism right now, Mark may not consciously recognize his feeling envy instead he's rationalizing them as a harmless or justified. He may attribute his negative thoughts or behaviors towards John to be legitimate, legitimate concerns or differences of opinion. Failing to acknowledge that the underlying envy is driving his actions.

SPEAKER 1: Let's talk about this for a minute. There was a time that I was in the vehicle and this is how I was awakened from the unconscious mind to my conscience that there was a person that was close to me that was envious of my life and I didn't understand why, right?

SPEAKER 1: Because we look at our life and we're like there's nothing really extravagant but someone else is admiring your life and you may not know it just like Mark didn't know it. So in this car, in this car ride, Holy Spirit was saying, hey, I want you to identify this next moment. And in this next moment, I heard a sentence or a phrase, I wish I hope that I receive the same as what you received.

SPEAKER 1: Now, this was specific in what I received and I'm not, you know, stating exactly what it was, but I'm I'm breaking it down so that you can understand that this was the statement. And I thought, OK, what's the big deal about that later on with this particular person?

SPEAKER 1: It began to manifest more where it was evident that there was envy. And I did not know what was happening. And I began to do a study on what is envy. Envy? Heights. It hides within a person. And when it begins to manifest, it will begin to manifest in these places, whether it's, you know, trying to fester opinions or acknowledge or justify, you know what you're doing or saying is right?

SPEAKER 1: When the reality is, is that the root of what is happening is actually being caused by envy. And you wouldn't know that because you are sleeping in this, you're not awaken. So in this place of awakening, the Holy Spirit has to wake you up to identify what is operating so that you will know how to proceed to address it.

SPEAKER 1: And in that moment, I said, how do you tell someone that they're envious? And they don't even know it? Like, how do you even do that? Like I'm gonna sit down and say, hey, you're envy. It's like it was like, whoa, what's happening here?

SPEAKER 1: I'm going to have to say something about this and I have to do it in a, in a way that I'm coming to the table where my heart is open to love so that they cannot say that it's coming at them in a place where I am being boastful and conceited because I want to address the fact that you're envious. And it's like that's a big thing for someone.

SPEAKER 1: It's a big thing to come at them and say, hey, you're operating an envy. So yeah, so that's a whole another story. But now we see Mark is, you know, manifesting unconsciously and then the consequence happens, the presence of unrecognized envy can create tension and discord within our community undermining genuine relationship and slowly losing trust.

SPEAKER 1: John may sense the competitive from Mark leading to a strain interactions and a lack of, you know, authentic connection between them. It left unchecked. Marx's hidden envy may contribute to feelings of isolation and disunity within the church, hindering its ability to fulfill its mission and purpose.

SPEAKER 1: So this example of illustration is revealing how hidden envy can impact relationships within a Christian community. Even when an envious person is unaware of their own feelings, recognizing and addressing envy requires humility. Is this is exactly what I said it before you got to come humbly to the table.

SPEAKER 1: There's, there's a need for self awareness and a willingness to confront one's own insecurities and fears, but fostering a culture of transparency, vulnerability and mutual support, we can actually cultivate, cultivate this genuine relationship based on love and acceptance within our communities of faith.

SPEAKER 1: Now I'm talking to you about this today because these are things that I had to learn in leadership. Now, what am I saying? That before I knew this, I was leading, I didn't know the depth of all of this when I was leading.

SPEAKER 1: So when these things were manifesting, I did not have a clarity or strategy on what, what was really happening and you're pointing out a lot of things, but you're trying to figure it out at the same time and at the same time, you possibly could have been infected because you don't know what's going on.

SPEAKER 1: So, you know, if you know, Mark decides to have a conversation with somebody and Mark starts spewing out this envy into the people, the people start thinking like Mark unconsciously, no one's picking it up and then this begins to become a thing.

SPEAKER 1: And the next thing you know, you have now a disconnected body who does not know where the disconnect is, who can't pinpoint the disconnect and all because the Bible makes it clear, you will perish from the lack of knowledge, you will perish from not knowing.

SPEAKER 1: You know, I just yesterday, I was informed through God, the Holy Spirit himself telling me that you were going to write a book called Leading with Zeal Passion is ruling and breaking the protocol.

SPEAKER 1: And this book is going to be based on leadership who begins to lead without the proper training of protocol. And just the primary ruling of their leadership is passion and how dangerous that can be. Not only for, you know, for yourself as a leader.

SPEAKER 1: But for those that you are leading and one of the influences of that is, is based out of my life, is based out of my own leadership things that God had identified and said, hey, because you had unresolved trauma, these things manifested and yes, they were hurtful to some and beneficial to others because of my transparency.

SPEAKER 1: I didn't understand how important it is to have your soul detoxed. You know, this is past soul healing guys. This is past my inner healing. This is past getting deliverance.

SPEAKER 1: This is the moment of God calling forth who you really are in a full maturity, full functioning maturity, not this is not your average healing of the soul. No, this is not your average healing of the Spirit.

SPEAKER 1: No, this is God pulling out the core, your mantle and getting you to function in this. And when this starts to happen, you will begin to see the immaturity in your life where things played out and it could have been done differently.

SPEAKER 1: The only thing we can do about those moments of our life is actually move forward and utilize and apply all the things that you are learning now and and make it where it's available and accessible to people so that they will live and understand that we have to operate leading people from a place of maturity and not just from healing.

SPEAKER 1: Because why do I say maturity? Maturity makes full bloom. If you are in full bloom, that means you are actually a flower. If I said you are a bud, that means you haven't fully matured.

SPEAKER 1: If I say full bloom, that means you have come to the full maturity of what you were created for, which is a flower. I was a bud leading and we can go on so much about that at some point I will.

SPEAKER 1: But to stay in the topic, we have to address and make sure that in the things that God has placed you into in your assignments in life that you are leading it through a culture that can be transparent, that can be vulnerable and that has the mutual support. Because if these three things are cultivating your community, then there is a genuine love that is manifesting and through the relationships.

SPEAKER 1: And there is a true acceptance within our community of faith happening. And with that there's transformation. And so you're never going to get a group of people that have come fully matured.

SPEAKER 1: If you do praise God. Hallelujah, they went through all the trials and tribulations and, and fires and they have submitted them to God. And this is great. Let's work together. But I have not seen yet anyone who said everyone came and they came in full bloom.

SPEAKER 1: I I just haven't maybe someone out there has a better testimony, but I have not seen that. So when we're addressing envy, jealousy strife and dispute and division, the psychological perception of envy, jealousy and striped dispute division are toxic behaviors that are stemming as we stated before.

SPEAKER 1: The insecurity that inadequacy, I don't, I don't value or see the value of myself, these behaviors not only harm relationships, but they also contribute to a toxic environment within the community.

SPEAKER 1: This is what I was stating before that. You know, you don't know if you are unconscious, you're in a coma, you don't know. You just don't know when I think about that, I think about how can you hold someone accountable that isn't in a coma?

SPEAKER 1: You can't, you're, they're in a coma. They are not knowing one of the statements Jesus made forgive them for, they not know what they're doing. And if Jesus made that statement on the cross, then we should have the heart to stay the same, forgive them for. They do not know. How do we know that they were conscious? Is when it repeats itself all over again, then we got another problem, another level of problem.

SPEAKER 1: But in this level, it's a conscience, an unconscious state of the believer that is not aware that they're operating in these things. Ok. So the scriptural insight, James chapter 316, it warns that where you have envy and selfish ambition there, you will find disorder in every evil practice instead. Galatians chapter five verse 22 and 23 encourages believers to cultivate gentleness and self control.

SPEAKER 1: So let's look at another case. This is the case study of bitterness over perceived injustice. Here's a scenario, there's a church member, let's call her Sarah. She feels passed over by leadership position, she believes she deserved.

SPEAKER 1: But despite of the years of dedication and service to the church, the leadership team chose someone else for the role, feeling overlooked and undervalued. Sarah begins to harbor bitterness and resentment towards the leadership team and the person who received the position because it's not enough just to feel that way about the leadership.

SPEAKER 1: I'm going also to feel that way about the person who got the position that I felt I was deserving of the dynamics is that Sarah's bitterness begins to fester and as she dwells on the perceived injustice and plays the situation over and over in her mind. Have you ever done that?

SPEAKER 1: Have you ever taken a situation where you didn't feel you had justice in and played it over and over? How about this? Have you regurgitated it to people over and over? Have you say, hey, John did, can you believe what they did to me?

SPEAKER 1: Hey, Maria, can you believe what they did to me? Hey, such and such. Can you believe what they did to me? Because this right here is the manifestation of bitterness beginning to fester in your will.

SPEAKER 1: The Bible says that all of our belly will flow the living waters and it says that the bitterness will have two good and bad. And so in this moment, Sarah is beginning to allow bitterness to fate infest her waters internally.

SPEAKER 1: So she begins by increasing critical, critical judgments against the leadership, questioning their motives and integrity, rather than addressing her feelings, directing with the leadership team or seeking support from a fellow believer. Sarah withdraws from church activity and relationships isolating herself emotionally.

SPEAKER 1: I got to tell you that I know people personally now in the workforce even that won't go to church because of a particular situation. And in that particular situation, it caused the bitterness to infest their waters.

SPEAKER 1: And they became really critical of the leadership even questioning whether they were even called, are they even from God and then begins to stop attending the church altogether. Doesn't have any fellowship with brothers and sisters, doesn't want anybody and says, I just built myself a prayer room. Oh, I just do it in my room and it's not the same.

SPEAKER 1: The Bible in Hebrew says, did not forsake the fellowship of, of the congregation. So the there has to be something that's causing you to do this. And this is where it began, it began where she did not go straight to the leadership and say, hey, I thought or I believe or I was feeling whatever the case may be so that the, the the the bitterness will not grow, will not fester so out of not being.

SPEAKER 1: And this is what I say you're not, you don't have the emotional intelligence to be able to deal with your emotion. That's the reason you didn't go to leadership.

SPEAKER 1: There was already things happening in Sarah's situation that did not give her the maturity, the ability to go to leadership. Instead she was immature and stayed in this immature state and allowed that immaturity to cause more problems than it should have in her own life because fy I leadership doesn't know what's going on.

SPEAKER 1: They have no idea because no one ever said anything. Sarah never came to them. So I was just, just, you know, was immature and said, I'm not gonna go to them for whatever reason because again, inadequacy feeling the, the feeling that maybe they're not gonna listen to me feeling that maybe I won't be heard, feeling that it does not matter what happens at the table.

SPEAKER 1: What matters is, did you go, did you go to the table despite a fear? Did you speak? Despite of fear, fear is the primary cause of a lot of this, you know, situations that happen. People are, you know, they, they feel fear when they want to address something emotionally and I haven't found the root yet of what could be.

SPEAKER 1: Maybe there's many routes, but often times people would rather go talk to someone else than talk to the person that they should be addressing it with because of fear. So yeah, maybe we need to dialogue on that on another time. But the consequences of Sarah's fear, you know, her bitterness, not only affected her own well being, but also it poisoned the atmosphere within the community.

SPEAKER 1: Her negative attitude and disengagement sow seeds of discord and discontent among other members who may begin to question the leadership's decision and motives. The once vibrant and united community becomes divided with factions forming based on the loyalty to either Sarah or the leadership. And this is constant situation in our churches.

SPEAKER 1: It is sad that we have to get to this place because we don't teach our people emotional intelligence. We don't teach people how to be emotionally healthy. If I recommend anything. If you are in a church or leading one or ministry, please, for the love of God have a study on emotional healthy, emotional leadership.

SPEAKER 1: There actually is a pastor who teaches that who has created their whole curriculum based on this even healthy discipleship and just begin to go through it with your community so that there can be this opening at the table, this bite of anything that's happening, it would be at least done out of a place of maturity and healthiness so that these things can stop, these situations can just stop gradually.

SPEAKER 1: But yeah. So the example of this illustration is how bins can take root within our community. I mean, it happens in our own family life. If you have a toxic family, imagine it's going to trickle into your community. As a Christian, it will start to bring division, gossip and even relational strife.

SPEAKER 1: Addressing bitterness requires humility. Notice that all these things, the first door to any of the stuff is humility, it requires forgiveness. This will always be found in every situation. But also listen to this, the willingness to extend grace towards others. Even when we feel wronged or overlooked, confronting bitterness with love and reconciliation can foster the healing and unity within communities of faith.

SPEAKER 1: I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that when we come to the table that we are confronting out of a place of humility, place our postured heart of forgiveness and here a postured heart of willing to extend grace.

SPEAKER 1: We have too many commercialized ads for the church today that says that we do not have to foster any grace if they're gone. If they left. If this, if that, oh God is the hands on it, stop because Jesus never did any of that. Even when people left, you didn't see how Jesus would never have closed the door on them. Repentance is there for people to repent? And there's nothing we can do about it.

SPEAKER 1: If somebody was a murderer and they murdered somebody, you didn't like who they murdered. If, if they, if God got a hold of them and they chose to repent, there's nothing that you and I can do about that true repentance causes people to change. There is nothing that we can do about God accepting someone else's repentance.

SPEAKER 1: Again, if we think we can control repentance, we are operating out of a place of self righteousness, not out of the place of love of Christ's love at that. It just, it just the information that is being spewed out into media about, you know how to address a toxic moment is ridiculous because it's misinformation, none of them are coming out of the place of Christ.

SPEAKER 1: So why do I say that? Because if you look at how Christ addressed things, I don't, I can't reflect the things that people are doing because Christ always left the door open again for repentance and let them choose to repent with a true heart of repentance. It's not our place to judge whether they truly repented or not.

SPEAKER 1: It's our place to have a door open for repentance. So how do we prevent the bitterness from taking root in our hearts? Well, we're gonna practice forgiveness as a deliberate choice. We have to deliberately choose to forgive. Then we're going to release the resentment towards that toxic individual entrusting justice to God. See that, that's where it all goes back to God again.

SPEAKER 1: I am literally going to say I'm going to forgive you. Now, here's the second part, I'm gonna release my resentment towards you and I'm gonna entrust it to God to see fit and what he, what he needs to do about the situation and we're going to seek support from trusted friends, a mentor or counselor to process our emotion from this place and to gain perspective on the situation.

SPEAKER 1: It's not a one way streak here. I just see what I see and that's all I see. Wow. Again, operating on a place of self righteousness because there's always a two sided story and there's a God story.

SPEAKER 1: And in any situation, as a Christian, you should be seeking out God's story because God will reveal to you things that happen in a person's life that will give you the ability to, to release forgiveness will give you the ability to release resentment. You would say to yourself, that makes sense why they acted that way. God, they had all this stuff going on in their life and I didn't see or even think to be mindful of that.

SPEAKER 1: So mind renewal is our next application. We're going to shift our focus from dwelling on the offense to dwelling on God's goodness and his faithfulness.

SPEAKER 1: We're going to meditate on scriptures like Ephesians three verse 31 and 32 which instructs the believers to get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice, every form of shade and to be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other.

SPEAKER 1: Just as Christ, God forgave you, you have to remember that you are being forgiven every time you realize you did something that didn't please God.

SPEAKER 1: We're all human in a fallen world with a fallen nature, our souls are fallen. Hence the reason why you need to hold a ghost. So we have to be in constant conscious awareness that anyone can fall short of the glory of God, period. And our trust, our faith, our core foundation should be in God.

SPEAKER 1: So when man tends to fall short of the glory, we're not as offended because we didn't put all those things in them. We have our core in God. The second thing is impact on faith and well being.

SPEAKER 1: The psychological perception is this the toxic behavior exhibited by fellow Christians can wear down one's joy of salvation and faith in God's grace, bitterness resulting from encounters of toxic behavior can begin to overshadow the joy and the peace found in salvation leading to spiritual disillusionment. Any emotional distress I have, I have to say this.

SPEAKER 1: We have to be really cautious about what's in our heart. I'm sorry to have to say this. But a lot of times people are still in unforgiveness and this is what they're spewing out in their messages. A lot of the messages that are coming from believers from with unforgiveness has a very heavy shade on it.

SPEAKER 1: What does that mean? It has a very form of darkness in it. And we want to teach people how to operate in darkness and teach them how to operate in the light of Christ. You don't need help to know how to do and how to do life in dark.

SPEAKER 1: That's where you came from before there was salvation. That's where you were. So, if you, if we begin to promote that, especially in a time now where the church is and a real, you know, toxic place pretty much because nothing was ever addressed, nothing was ever addressed.

SPEAKER 1: And here we are talking to people on how to live in Christ and we're implementing darkness into it and saying it's ok to do these things because God knows all things. Yeah, God knows all things. But when we make that part of our message, we're not in Christ, we're in ourselves.

SPEAKER 1: Your scriptural insight. Proverbs 1430 acknowledges that a heart at peace gives life to the body. But every rots the bones maintaining joy of salvation, despite of the external circumstances. It's emphasized in Philippians chapter 44 which encourages believers to rejoice in the Lord at all times.

SPEAKER 1: How are we gonna maintain that joy of salvation in the midst of a community? That's toxic. Number one, you're gonna maintain joy, a salvation by applying regularly reminding yourself the renewal of the mind of the death of God's love for you and the eternal hope found in salvation.

SPEAKER 1: You're going to refocus your mind back to Christ. You're going to engage in spiritual practices such as your prayers, your prayer life, your worship life, you're going to do scripture reading, to strengthen your connection with God nurture your spiritual resilience.

SPEAKER 1: You're going to renew that mind by replacing negative thoughts and emotions, triggered by toxic encounters with affirmations of your identity. In Christ meditate on the verses like Romans chapter eight, verse 38 and 39 it will remind you that nothing can separate you from God's love. And that's something we have to remember. That that's not just a scripture for me.

SPEAKER 1: That's a scripture for anybody who is in God, that nothing can separate them from the love of God, no matter how far you think they are or how far out of reach they are. I'm sorry to break the news, but it is up to God to extend his love to them. It is up to God to keep them, not our job, not our place.

SPEAKER 1: And a lot of the, the things we're seeing today is, it's a lot of Christians taking over of God's seat. We are not God. God is God. Hence the reason why we needed Holy Spirit. And I think we have to emphasize more how Spirit wants to lead us than how our soul wants to lead us.

SPEAKER 1: Now, we're gonna do the last one, which is our last case for today and it's how to address false leadership in church.

SPEAKER 1: Let's look at the background. We have a local church community and there's been a growing concern among the members that the teachings and the actions of one church leaders like pastor James, for example, some of the members have noticed the in inconsistencies between Pastor James's teaching and biblical doctrine.

SPEAKER 1: While others have raised concern about his character integrity, rumors began to spread that the church leadership team faces the challenge of addressing these concerns in a minor, consistent with biblical principles and pastoral care. Now understand that none of these cases are based on anyone particularly these are actually found cases.

SPEAKER 1: So the Scriptural Foundation says that in Matthew chapter seven verse 15 to 20 it says, watch out for the false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are wolves by their fruit. You will recognize them, boom, stop right there by their fruit. You will recognize them. Same thing Jesus said by their fruit. You would know that they are mine.

SPEAKER 1: Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes? Take some time to read that scripture over and really look at what it's saying. But the application part is that the leadership team should evaluate Pastor James's teaching and actions in the light of biblical truth and discern whether they align with the fruit of the Spirit as in Galatians chapter five verse 22.

SPEAKER 1: And does it exhibit characteristics of the false teaching in this scenario where individuals from another church, which to confront a false leadership in a different church? There are additional considerations to keep in mind. Number one, always approach with humility and respect individuals from another church should approach the situation with humility, recognizing authority of the church.

SPEAKER 1: That is in question, they should seek to address their concerns in the Spirit of love and genuine concern of the well being of the members, not for them to get some clout on the internet. Number two, seeking accountability.

SPEAKER 1: If there are any concerns about false teaching and unethical behavior that could potentially harm the Christian community individual may consider reaching out to a higher, you know, governing body, maybe a denominational oversight. That's an authority of that church. The third thing is always have the sermon and prayer before taking any public action or making accusations.

SPEAKER 1: Individuals should have should engage and discernment in prayer, seeking God's guidance and wisdom and how best to address the situation and also carefully consider the potential consequences of their actions. So make sure you strive to act in integrity and compassion as a as for the impact of the of the public discussion about the false leadership on social media.

SPEAKER 1: It's it affects everyone the whole world who are watching and it could produce a range of mental and emotional responses. I can't emphasize enough how important it is for us to think before we act process before we do. And when we finally engage to make sure that what we are saying is accurately correct when it comes to addressing false leadership.

SPEAKER 1: Why? Because you affect people who watch one, it releases confusion and doubt the public discussion about the false leadership can create confusion and doubt amongst the believers who are unsure of whom to trust or what to believe anymore. At this point, they may even struggle to reconcile their even admiration for any type of leadership.

SPEAKER 1: So we have to be careful what we're doing and how we're doing it because we're not just affecting the people, we're adjusting, but we're affecting people who are watching.

SPEAKER 1: And number two, the disappointment, the disillusionment for those who have placed their trust and faith in a leadership in question, public revelations of wrongdoing and false teaching can lead to feelings of disillusionment and disappointment. They may feel betrayed and question their own beliefs and convictions. Three loss of trust.

SPEAKER 1: You know, the public exposure surrounding the false leadership can erode trust not only in individual leadership but also in a broader ra range of the institution of the church. We talked about this earlier in the podcast, people may become cynical and skeptical of the church leading them to lose confidence in the church for spiritual growth and renewal.

SPEAKER 1: On the other hand, public discussions about false leadership can serve as a catalyst for spiritual growth and renewal. It may prompt individuals to re evaluate their own faith, deepen their commitment to follow Christ rather than placing their trust in human leadership.

SPEAKER 1: Let's look at one last case scenario. I know I said that that would be the last. But there is one more and this is where the local church community, there has been growing some tension and discord from perceived accusations against one of the church leaders.

SPEAKER 1: Pastor Sarah and several members of the congregation have expressed concerns about her leadership style suggesting that she may be showing favoritism towards certain individuals and making decisions without consulting the congregation. However, these accusations are based on he say she say speculation rather than a concrete evidence.

SPEAKER 1: Proverbs 1817, it says in a lawsuit the first to speak seems right until someone comes forward and does a cross examination. The application for this is exactly what this verse is stating. It is reminding us of the importance of seek out the truth, gathering all information before forming judgments or making accusations, perceived accusations should be carefully examined and investigated before taking action.

SPEAKER 1: So again, from a psychological perspective, setting healthy boundaries is crucial for protecting oneself from toxic behavior, preventing bitterness from taking root in our heart. But boundaries help individuals assert their independence, maintain a well being and prevent further harm.

SPEAKER 1: Now, there's a whole thing going around about this whole boundary thing. And there was a another video that came out and it was like, hey, since when did Christ say we laid down our boundaries? He said we laid down our life and I would love to do a whole another intake on that and kind of dialogue on that statement a little further.

SPEAKER 1: But you know, boundaries are set to tell people when you're available, an access point. That's an access point here is when you can assess, you know, assess with me, this is when you can come to my garden and you know, there's a boundary for that, but the boundaries that we're setting out in the majority of the messages is keeping people out of your garden.

SPEAKER 1: And I just don't see how you're a minister of the gospel where you are saying you can't come in. So we will address that further at some point in another podcast. But right now, let's just wrap this up with the scriptural insight of Proverbs 2025 28. Word warns that like a city whose walls are broken though is a person who lacks self control.

SPEAKER 1: Jesus example. Setting boundaries with the Pharisees in Matthew 23 demonstrates the importance of asserting boundaries while still showing love and compassion. It's right there in scripture, extending forgiveness is an essential for releasing bitterness and resentment towards toxic individuals and promoting emotional heating.

SPEAKER 1: Letting go of grudges, extending forgiveness needs to enter peace, restoration and freedom from the toxic cycle of resentment colos 313 will always urge us to forgive us to forgive as the Lord forgave you emphasizing the transformation power of forgiveness in restoring relationships and healing wounds.

SPEAKER 1: How do we adopt the culture of grace and transparency within our communities? We're going to lead by example, that's your first application. Demonstrating grace, humility, transparency in your own interactions with others. Listening, actively, not listening to be right?

SPEAKER 1: But listening to active listening is a, it's an act of listening to seek understanding the perceptions from different views and then extending that empathy and compassion towards those who may be struggling toxic behavior, you know, renewing your mind by, you know, transforming your mindset from a judgmental cynical attitude towards one of grace and understanding.

SPEAKER 1: And that's the problem right here that we are trying to get the body of Christ to renew themselves in renewing yourself from a judgmental and critical, you know, one that's always criticizing attitude to one of grace and understanding, you know, renewing our mind daily through prayer, you know, scriptures, you know, Colossians 1312, 14 and encourages believers to clothe yourself for compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience and to forgive as the Lord forgave you.

SPEAKER 1: So I hope that this podcast has helped a few of us today to come into a mindset of renewal of grace and understanding and not critical and judgmental. Thank you for tuning in to our podcast Cultura Crossing. Be sure to subscribe for more upcoming episodes where we are intersecting faith culture and even sometimes psychology. Until the next time. May you walk in the grace and the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ?